Feedback is how we get better. It's how we find out what we couldn't see ourselves. But there are many reasons why it's more challenging to gather than we might hope.

You might have a design prototype, a book or article draft, a new practice you want your team to adopt, or a project you've been working on. Feedback will make it better, but it's easy to feel anxious.

You might want to avoid having to talk to people. Maybe you're worried about what others think—perhaps they won't like it. Maybe you'll have to start over. Maybe you'll hear what you know deep down. Maybe you might see that others could do it better than you, that it shouldn't be you that's doing it. Maybe you'll find out that you're a failure.

If we care about achieving the best outcome, we can dispel most of these fears with a few moments of reflection—of course, I'm not a failure for trying!—but it doesn't mean they feel any less real at the time. As is often the case, action can be the solution, and gathering feedback is, in my experience, usually energising and confidence-building—now you can see what will make your project fly.

Jane Austen was known to read her novels aloud to her family for both evening entertainment (pre-Netflix) and to help revise and hone her writing.

Remember, the first draft is always perfect.

Don't take things personally or yourself too seriously.

Don't get attached to one option—attach yourself instead to a great outcome.

To avoid sunk costs clouding your judgment, seek feedback before you're too invested.

Share multiple options when you can. It makes it easier for others to give comparative feedback and reduces the chances of taking it personally.

Remember how valuable good feedback has been in the past.

Consider who to gather feedback from. Sometimes complete strangers can help (who cares if they don't like it?), and other times a friendly face can ease you into it.

Remember the spectrum policy to focus on the good in an idea.

Feedback fear

I was taught this originally for backpacking but it really always makes sense once you think about it. Pouring onto a hand keeps dirty hands out of the rest of the snacks in much the same way as a drinking fountain manages to be hygienic by shooting out the water.

Some alternative sides to sharing: compliments are gifts and give gifts others can give. And two more about germs: sneezes and coughs, and the Dracula sneeze.

Pour, don’t dip when sharing snacks.

Compliments are gifts is a lovely metaphor for making the world a brighter place.

I can’t remember where I heard or read it, but I have found that when I think of a compliment as having a gift for someone, if I don't let them know my compliment, then it's like having a gift with their name on it and holding it back.

This reframe has made me take the time to share compliments more often with friends, colleagues, shopkeepers, the person who always has a cheery smile in the morning, the person who organised the event, my kids, my wife, and pretty much everyone. And life seems a better place. Do it!

Thank you for following and checking out this sketch. It’s a privilege.

Also, when they are given to you, accept compliments.

Compliments are gifts

Sacré bleu! Or camembert for that matter. Share the ripe middle by cutting strips.

Don’t cut the nose off brie

…but it increases quality because your name is attached to it.

…and it almost always provides unexpected benefits, because you never know what others will do.

I have experienced all of this first hand through this Sketchplanations project. I credit sharing and creating in public, with Sketchplanations eventually becoming the book Big Ideas Little Pictures.

Sharing your work

I’ve always been somewhat guarded about sharing, preferring to stick with close friends and family. This frame shift, provided for me by JP Rangaswami, was part of the reason for putting Sketchplanations up here. And it’s spot on. How could I possibly know who may find which sketchplanation interesting?

Get my new weekly sketch in your inbox

Category: sharing