Often, it's easier to give privacy than it is to find it. This is often true in the great outdoors. If you can't easily find privacy then it's good to have an attitude among your group to give privacy instead.

When stopping a raft for lunch at the side of a river there may be no cover at all. A handy phrase for how to give some privacy when you needed to go pee was 'skirts up, pants down' — girls go upstream, boys go downstream. Or try finding some privacy when you're roped in a group of six walking up a glacier all day where you can't unrope — in that case, it's boys to one side of the rope, girls to the other.

You can give privacy almost anywhere even when it's near impossible to find it.

I was taught this by the excellent river guides at ROW.

It's easier to give privacy than to find it

Most things increase in demand as they get cheaper — as the price of electric cars comes down we can expect more people to buy more of them. Veblen goods are the opposite. They thrive on exclusivity. Veblen goods are more desirable exactly because they are more expensive. If everyone could buy a Rolex, the vintage whisky, or that supercar, then they wouldn't seem so super anymore. Many luxury items are veblen goods.

The I Am Rich iPhone app briefly sold for $999.99 and displayed only a glowing red gem and a mantra about being rich. Genius/madness.

Veblen goods are named after Thorstein Veblen, coiner of the concept of conspicuous consumption.

Veblen goods

Being clear is not only helpful, it's actually being kind. Being unclear about expectations, fuzzy on what you really need, or skirting around an issue, is actually unkind — it sets people up to fail, and creates problems in the future.

If you don't give clear feedback then you're holding that person back from improving. If you say two weeks, but you're really expecting one week, then you'll resent it when it's not done in time. If you say it's really fine when it's not then you'll continue to be upset about how things are going.

Clear is kind is a simple reminder, though by no means always easy, of how being clear in your communication is the generous, brave, helpful, and kind thing to do.

I learned clear is kind, and unclear is unkind, from Brené Brown in Dare to Lead, and she said she first heard it in a 12-steps meeting. I borrowed the dancing emphasis from the always excellent Eva-Lotta Lamm.

Get my new weekly sketch in your inbox

Clear is kind